[gul´it]
–noun
1.
the collection of fatty tissue underneath a chin, typically removed at birth due to it's useless nature in modern society. Scientists surmise that at one point in history the gullet most likely served a function similar to that of a bird's gizzard, helping to break down and digest foods. Some religions found in poorer regions forbid the removal of the gullet, praising it as a sign of divinity and noting the scarf-like function it can provide during the winter.
Used in conversation:
"Hello, there. How may I help you?"
"Oh, hi... Uh, I think these other people were in line first..."
"Oh, that's okay- they're too poor to buy anything we sell..."
"So, what can I do for you, sir?"
"Well, I was looking for a gullet-brooch for my wife- it's our 4 month... Anywho, long-story short- I've been all over this dern town and can't seem to find the right brooch for my gal.... *sigh*"
"Gullet-brooch? Why didn't you say so... I have just what you're looking for..."
"Isn't it grand?"
"Hmm... well, it's certainly large... what, exactly am I looking at here, doctor?"
"Well, this a scarab beetle, native to southern Ohio and ancient Egypt. It's ancestors were at one time worshiped by the Ohioans. It's said to bring drought and fertility simultaneously. If it's too large, we can certainly order it in a small... I should've asked- does your wife take a small or a large in gullet-brooches?"
"mmmmm.... now, THAT- I'm not sure of... I'm thinnnnnnking it's....... a large? Yeah, it's definitely a large gullet... But- I do know she's terribly frightened of dung-beetles and I just think that this would be too close for comfort... Tell me- what are your other options?"
"Well, let's see... Does your wife hate all of God's creations, or only beetles?"
"Well, she does have a special place in her heart for kitty-cats..."
"Purr-fect! Follow me to the back- I know just the piece!"
"Oh, hi! I didn't hear you come in... let me just turn off the cafeter here..."
"Gregor, show this customer what you've been working on... you know- the feline brooch..."
"Certainly..."
"...just finished her up today... she's quite a beaut, eh?"
"Well, whaddya think?! Gregor's a genius, huh?"
"...*sigh*... I think... I think..."
"...I think it's an elephant... I was looking for a kitty-kat..."
"Oh, my goodness... you're absolutely right! I'm terribly sorry... you wanted a TOM-KAT gullet-brooch... I forgot that even though they're both felines, elephants and tom-kats are from a different genus... Please accept my apology... If you'll follow me, I think I have just the one you're looking for..."
"...Meet Renée- our Master Broochsmith! He comes from a long line of Broochmen and he specializes in brooches designed to compliment a lady's gullet. Renée, can you show this gentlemen your tom-kat brooch?"
"Certainly. But, please be gentle when you gaze upon it... for, I have just finished forging it in the brooch-pot, and I'm afraid a gaze that overstays it's welcome is a newborn brooch's worst enemy..."
"Um, sure... I won't look at it for more than a couple seconds... I promise..."
"Hey! Up here!"
"Oh, sorry..."
"...Behold!- my newest creation!"
"So... it's basically another elephant..."
"To the untrained eye- sure."
"Sir, I can tell this is not the Tom-Kat brooch you were looking for... *sigh* I'm sorry we weren't able to help you today... if you'll just follow me back to the front, we can get your bill settled up..."
"Bill?! But, I didn't buy anything!"
"Oh, I'm afraid it still costs $19 to browse our store..."
"Okie-dokie... that's 17, 18, annnnnnd 19! Sir, I do hope you'll be back in time for our President's day sale... we'll have plenty of great Presidential brooches in stock and on sale..."
"...*sigh*... well, I'll have to see... I usually go camping with my stepdad that weekend..."
"Wait a sec- there IS just one more brooch that we have... lemme see if I can find it here...."
"It's a kitty-kat brooch!"
"You betcha it's a tom-kat! Should I gift-wrap him?"
"Oh, hmm... let me think- uh, YEAH! Ah-hahahahahaha!"
"Okay... now, open your eyes, my princess-pie..."
"...it's a kitty-kat!"
"What the hell do I do with it?"
"It's for your gullet, pooh-bear... try it on!"
"Oh, Glen... it's beautiful. I don't know what to say. I love you, tiger-shark."
"I love you too, peach-plum..."
"Hello, there. How may I help you?"
"Oh, hi... Uh, I think these other people were in line first..."
"Oh, that's okay- they're too poor to buy anything we sell..."
"So, what can I do for you, sir?"
"Well, I was looking for a gullet-brooch for my wife- it's our 4 month... Anywho, long-story short- I've been all over this dern town and can't seem to find the right brooch for my gal.... *sigh*"
"Gullet-brooch? Why didn't you say so... I have just what you're looking for..."
"Isn't it grand?"
"Hmm... well, it's certainly large... what, exactly am I looking at here, doctor?"
"Well, this a scarab beetle, native to southern Ohio and ancient Egypt. It's ancestors were at one time worshiped by the Ohioans. It's said to bring drought and fertility simultaneously. If it's too large, we can certainly order it in a small... I should've asked- does your wife take a small or a large in gullet-brooches?"
"mmmmm.... now, THAT- I'm not sure of... I'm thinnnnnnking it's....... a large? Yeah, it's definitely a large gullet... But- I do know she's terribly frightened of dung-beetles and I just think that this would be too close for comfort... Tell me- what are your other options?"
"Well, let's see... Does your wife hate all of God's creations, or only beetles?"
"Well, she does have a special place in her heart for kitty-cats..."
"Purr-fect! Follow me to the back- I know just the piece!"
"Oh, hi! I didn't hear you come in... let me just turn off the cafeter here..."
"Gregor, show this customer what you've been working on... you know- the feline brooch..."
"Certainly..."
"...just finished her up today... she's quite a beaut, eh?"
"Well, whaddya think?! Gregor's a genius, huh?"
"...*sigh*... I think... I think..."
"...I think it's an elephant... I was looking for a kitty-kat..."
"Oh, my goodness... you're absolutely right! I'm terribly sorry... you wanted a TOM-KAT gullet-brooch... I forgot that even though they're both felines, elephants and tom-kats are from a different genus... Please accept my apology... If you'll follow me, I think I have just the one you're looking for..."
"...Meet Renée- our Master Broochsmith! He comes from a long line of Broochmen and he specializes in brooches designed to compliment a lady's gullet. Renée, can you show this gentlemen your tom-kat brooch?"
"Certainly. But, please be gentle when you gaze upon it... for, I have just finished forging it in the brooch-pot, and I'm afraid a gaze that overstays it's welcome is a newborn brooch's worst enemy..."
"Hey! Up here!"
"Oh, sorry..."
"...Behold!- my newest creation!"
"So... it's basically another elephant..."
"To the untrained eye- sure."
"Sir, I can tell this is not the Tom-Kat brooch you were looking for... *sigh* I'm sorry we weren't able to help you today... if you'll just follow me back to the front, we can get your bill settled up..."
"Bill?! But, I didn't buy anything!"
"Oh, I'm afraid it still costs $19 to browse our store..."
"Okie-dokie... that's 17, 18, annnnnnd 19! Sir, I do hope you'll be back in time for our President's day sale... we'll have plenty of great Presidential brooches in stock and on sale..."
"...*sigh*... well, I'll have to see... I usually go camping with my stepdad that weekend..."
"Wait a sec- there IS just one more brooch that we have... lemme see if I can find it here...."
"It's a kitty-kat brooch!"
"You betcha it's a tom-kat! Should I gift-wrap him?"
"Oh, hmm... let me think- uh, YEAH! Ah-hahahahahaha!"
"Okay... now, open your eyes, my princess-pie..."
"...it's a kitty-kat!"
"What the hell do I do with it?"
"It's for your gullet, pooh-bear... try it on!"
"Oh, Glen... it's beautiful. I don't know what to say. I love you, tiger-shark."
"I love you too, peach-plum..."
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