"No! Stop it! Get away from me! Pendleton- save yourself! Fly away!"
"Huh... I guess it was just a dream..."
"THIS IS NO DREAM!"
"Oh, gross- a barn owl!"
"Ah, I see you've awakened from your slumber..."
"Where in the blue hell AM I- some sort of barn-owl dungeon jail tower?!"
"Yes, that's exactly where you're at- a barn-owl dungeon jail tower! When that Zeus owl got loose, it created the perfect diversion for us to capture you and bring you here..."
"What did you do with Pendleton, you bastard!"
"Well, I'm afraid in the midst of all the chaos, that little shoegazer was able to get away..."
"Shoegazer...?"
"Yes, you know- 'Shoegazer'- the term for any owl that's of the inferior non-barn variety..."
"I see..."
"...but, don't worry- your little friend will be apprehended soon enough... I have a cracked team of barn-owls on the case as we speak..."
"You can just say 'crack'..."
"...I beg your pardon?"
"You said 'cracked team'... that doesn't really make any sense... you can just say 'crack'...."
"Silence! I answer the questions around HERE, Earthling!"
"Earthling?"
"...Groundling."
"And who are you, exactly?"
"My name is Sheila. I am KING of the barn owls."
"...you mean 'Queen'..."
"I mean KING!"
"Well, your majesty... as long as YOU'RE the one answering questions, I have a few I'd like to ask..."
"Fine. Be quick with it- I will have to retire to the Royal Romper Room to watch my stories in a few moments..."
"Fine. Okay, well... for starters- why am I wearing a brassiere?"
"The sight of you without it was making the guards vomit, so we had to fix the situation..."
"Okay... so... why didn't you just leave my clothes on?"
"Next question."
"Why are you wearing a top-hat?"
"To show that I command authority. Owls are VERY responsive to top-hats."
"Well, it looks stupid."
"ENOUGH! I've had it with your infidelity... no more questions! I will visit you again tomorrow morning..."
"...in the mean-time, let me introduce you to my henchmen... if you get out of line or even THINK about trying to escape, you will have to deal with them... you would be wise to heed my warning- these are trained owl-sassins. They will show you NO mercy..."
"Owl-sassins...?"
"Yes. To my right we have Shelby- a formidable opponent, to be sure... AND- a green belt in /kəˈrɑːtiː/..."
"Only a 'green' belt?"
"A green belt's PRETTY GOOD!"
"I guess..."
"And if THAT isn't enough, over on my left is one of the most fierce owl-sassins around-"
"...say hello to Gillian Anderson!"
"What?"
"Gillian Anderson is a human actress, who would definitely never be mistaken for a mangy old barn-owl."
"Hey! I ain't no actress! Boy, I can't wait to give this guy a wing-sandwich, your majesty..."
"A wing-sandwich sounds good, actually..."
"What's for supper?"
"Biscuits."
"Popeye's®?"
"Bisquick®."
"You MONSTER!"
"Ah-hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
"Goodnight... get some rest- we have LOTS to talk about tomorrow... hahaha..."
"That crazy fiend... *sigh*... I have to find a way to get out of here... but, how?"
"...*sigh*... I hope you're okay, Pendleton... wherever you are... some... SOMEWHERE... out there..."
"Somewhere out there, beneath the paaaale moonliiiiight..."
"...someone's thinking of me and loving me toniiiiiight..."
"Somewhere out there, someone's saying a prayer... that we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there..."
"And even though I know how very far apart we are... it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star..."
"And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby, it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big skyyyyyyyy..."
"Somewhere out there... if love can see us through..."
"...then we'll be together, somewhere out there- out where dreeeeeeamsssssss... commmmme true."
"Goodnight, sweet Pendleton, wherever you are..."
*scritch, scritch, scritch*... *scritch, scritch*...
"...who's there...?"
