Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Definitions: "Smattering"

[smat-er-ing]
–noun
1.
the nastiest and most disgusting sex act one can perform.

Used in conversation:


"Alrighty... let me just go ahead and initiate the conference-call here...  Hello?  Ron?  Doug?  Chad?  Brad?  Thad?  Scotty?  Is everyone there?"











"We're all here, Bill."










"So, c'mon, Bill- don't leave us hangin'...  we want all the juicy details..."










"Umm...  well...  let's see... where did I leave off...?"












"The WHORE, Bill.  You were talking about the WHORE."











"Oh, right.  Well, let's just say..."
























"...I gave her a good SMATTERING..."




















"You da man, Bill!"








"Well...  you know..."











"Oh, wow... Bill, you definitely just kicked it up a notch..."











"Bill, that's so hot...  seriously, dogg..."








"Wait, so what's a SMATTERING, again?..."









"Well, what do YOU think it is, Ron?"











"Umm..."





"..."











"Just playin'- I know what it is, you guys!"










"Tee-hee-hee-hee!  That's our Ron!"










"Ah-ha-ha-ha...  Ohhhh, man...  I'll check you dudes later... wow..."











"Thanks, Bill- that was some hot shit.  I'll definitely be catching everyone on the flip-side, and you can hold me to that!  Hahaha...  phew!  Bye, now."











"Hello?  Is anyone there?  I keep pressing 9 to accept...  darnit."

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