The Font Man: Part 2

...Continued from Part 1.

The man's name was Bryan-  "Bryan with a Y, in Helvetica", as he would always explain to someone after introducing himself.  Most people would stare at him for a few seconds, searching for the right response and finally manage something like "Where's Helvetica?"  Bryan would stare back at them for about 4 seconds (or less, if he couldn't bear to look at them any longer), blink his eyes once, shake his head and walk away in complete disgust of their ignorance.

Occasionally, he would meet a more cultured person who would generally respond to his introduction with a polite laugh, followed by "Helvetica?  You mean, like, the FONT?"  

"Of course I mean the font!"

At this point the person would usually feel creeped out and walk away as quickly as they could without causing a scene.  As you can imagine, Bryan had a hard time meeting women.  There was Margaret, whom he dated for a couple of weeks in the autumn of 2002...  she was a librarian and sort of shared his passion for fonts, but, she was never willing to take it to the next level.  Bryan always doubted her sincerity and started referring to her as "Helvetica Light".  

Bryan would end up spending that winter dissecting their torrid affair (as he referred to it) with his closest confidant- Bill Ratchett, an author whose claim to fame was the erotic thriller series- "Spy Chick".  Bryan had known Bill for 5 years and had initially become a fan based on the "respectable fonts" Bill always used for his book covers.  Bill knew Bryan had issues, but, still felt obligated to listen to him, especially since Bryan was always first in line at the book store to purchase the latest entry in the "Spy Chick" saga.  The calls started increasing that winter, though...

"Hey, Bryan."

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Well, for one- I have caller ID, and for another- you're the only person who calls me at 3 in the morning..."

"I'm picking up a little Comic-Sans in your voice...  maybe I should just let you go..."

"No- it's fine...  I was just saying..."

"She sent me a letter, Bill."

Now, Bill was starting to wake up.  "A letter?  Really?  What did it say?"

"I'm sorry.  I'd like to give it another try.", Bryan sneered.

Bill was confused at the tone of Bryan's voice.  "Uh..  okay...  so, what's wrong with that?"

Bryan started to laugh,  "What's wrong?! Oh, gee... I don't know... hmm... let me think....  Wow, Bill!"

"Bryan, maybe I'm missing something....  I thought you told me you wanted a second chance... I thought you--"

Bryan interrupted, "Yes, that's not the problem!  The problem is the letter itself, Bill!"

Bill hesitated.  "What's wrong with the letter?", he asked, knowing fully well where this conversation was headed.

"The letter was typed in ARIAL."

Before Bill could respond, Bryan cut him off- "...not even Rounded or Monospaced, but, just REGULAR FUCKING ARIAL!"

"I don't know what to say, Bryan...  I think you're overthinking....  I mean, it's the words that count, and I think--"

"Oh, come on, Bill!  She's being a smart-ass!  It didn't even require any thought or energy!  Just like how she treated our torrid affair, Bill!"

Bill could see this conversation was going nowhere.  "I don't know, man...  Listen, I have to get some sleep...  I think you should get some sleep too and think about this in the morning when you feel refreshed."

The next morning at work, Bryan's day started off fine enough, until something caught his attention:

Part 3!